bits & pieces......

the solemnisation        the banquet       the bridal stuff       the serious stuff        the nitty-gritty stuff

 SY wanted to have the solemnisation outside of the Registrar, because she couldn't imagine having to queue up to get married.  And it had to be on the same day as everything else, because she didn't want to have to give more than one date whenever someone was to ask her when she got married.  Tough.....  The most logical solution we could come up with was to have it before the wedding banquet. That way, we could also share the SIGNIFICANT(!) moment with our relatives and close friends.

Next was to find a Justice of Peace (a grassroot leader will also do)  to officiate the ceremony.  Guess our lucky stars must have been shining on us, cos just around that time, we realised that Frances, the partner whom JK had worked for in KPMG, was named a JP!  She kindly consented to our request, making us just the #2 couple on her "to-marry" list.   And the fact that she knew us personally, and was a mentor to JK when he was in KPMG gave added meaning to the routine procedures of the ceremony.  

We also managed to arrange for the Es Choir to perform at the ceremony.  They gave such an awesome rendition of The Lion Sleeps Tonight that everyone was still humming it when they came out of the room.   Special thanks to Justin, who not only helped us make the performance arrangements, but also for missing the DELF exam at Alliance Française just to sing for us!

We learnt that the first thing to do...... is to get a date!  We had our parents give us a whole list of acceptable auspicious dates and from there, narrowed down the choices based on the availability of the hotels and their capacity.  We started looking for a hotel about 11 months ahead and already, most of the weekends were taken (btw, Friday is also considered a weekend).  Too bad!  JK got the hotels to fax us their menu and prices and from there, we short-listed about 5 places.  One very good piece of advice we got was to view the hotel ballrooms when there's an actual banquet, so that we could get a clearer picture of the actual decor and set-up.    

We finally settled on Hotel Inter-Continental, which could also provide us with a function room for our solmenisation at no extra charge.  Along the way, we realised the importance of ensuring that the capacity of the hotel matched our needs.  Inter-Con had a maximum capacity of 48 tables and there was no way to increase the number of tables although we later realised that we needed to.  In the end, we had to cut our guest list drastically by almost half! 

Some other things we had to bargain for (besides the price!) were stuff like:

* complimentary barrel of beer

* extra night's stay at the hotel

* extra car park tickets and invitation cards

* waiver of the corkage charge for liquor/wine

* seat covers

* late check-out from the hotel

We got our package from Ted Wu, after much deliberation (and persuasion!),  The prices were pretty steep, but we (more specifically, SY) loved his sharp style, sans lace and frills and other girly things, but with enough details for elegance (in the form of great looking beading and embroidery!).  Also, we were really impressed by Jean and her sincere demeanor and very personal service.  She was the only one (in all the bridal shops we visited) who encouraged us to look around to have a feel of what the other designers offered.  Oh yah, and she was the only one who actually remembered our names after our first visit.  Cool!  They also worked with Montage Studios, which did these great looking collages, and Oxford Tailor (where the very skillful Alex resides).  Double cool!  (Although in the end we got JK's suit from Ted too, cos he had just launched his 'guy' collection.  Not a bad deal either!...... We got the "BOSS" look at almost a quarter of the "BOSS" price....... What more could we ask for? )  Some other cool places we visited.....

* Silhouette The Bridal Atelier (behind Orchard Parade Hotel.  look for Amanda.... really patient gal!)

* Divine Couture (Mandarin Hotel)

* Andrew Choi (his cosy studio is at Spottiswoode Park)

* Flower Diamonds (Rosalind - the perfect saleswoman.....)

* Kenneth Cole (wait for the sale and get some really great bargains!)

* Hugo Boss (fab suits!  very nice to look at......)

I made JK go with me to the Catholic Engaged Encounter.  It's a stay-in pre-marital counseling camp (from Friday night to Sunday evening)....... "Great!" I thought.  No distraction (no TV for soccer or computer for games.....) and it's really far away (in Punggol) so there aren't many other places to run away to.  Ha Ha, let's see him come up with anymore excuses!

In the end, we both felt that we had learnt much more about ourselves and also, each other, than we ever had.  Even JK was glad we went (despite the fact that we were both non-Catholics).  Though it's never possible to pre-empt the issues that will arise after the marriage, all the stuff we discussed made us slightly more prepared for what was to lie ahead.

The course is really "hot" and we heard that now you have to book something like 6 months in advance!  Not too sure if they still take couples who are both non-Catholics now though...... try checking out their website.....

Our friends Ping Hua and Pei Yee gave us this book "Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts" by Dr Les Parrott III and Dr Leslie Parrott.  Thought it was a really good read.  Besides the things that most of us already know, it also gave some new insights into married life.  And the hard-cover and relatively large print makes some easy reading.  Check it out!

The other most urgent thing was to recruit our "Organising Committee", especially cos our wedding was on a weekday, and everyone would have to specially take a day off for us.    Among the bunch of unfortunate people, we volunteered Kwat Yeow as our Co-ordinator, Eugene as the official driver of the bridal car, Wei Teng as the Maid of Honour, Kar Tiong as our video cameraman, Hwee Ling as our sound-lady and Yung Fung as our MC.  Though they must have regretted agreeing to help us, it was too late to back out!  Another thing we found rather important was to get a copy of the program order for everybody involved, so they at least knew what was to come.

Some other stuff we had to fuss about......

* the wedding bands

we agreed on a "no-gold" policy.... and something simple so that JK (who hasn't worn any form of jewelry before in his 29 years) wouldn't feel funny.  we chanced upon Flower Diamonds at Ngee Ann City and got won over by the simple, no-fuss designs and also by Rosalind (the super saleswoman with super service!)  and the bands come in pretty ivory coloured boxes..... cool!

try the Wedding Band Shop at Chimes if you want to have a say in the design of the rings.  they do made-to-measure stuff, although the prices are a little bit higher......  

oh, another thing we had to fuss about:  rings in white gold or platinum??  (prices are pretty different so it's something to ponder about!!)

* flowers for the photo shoot 

went to this shop at the basement of Raffles City and the really helpful staff chose and bundled these pretty lilies into a bouquet @ $30

* flowers for SY's hand bouquet and the bridal car

we got ours from Green Point Flowers, which was part of the package with Ted.  they also did the corsages for our parents

* cakes for SY's relatives

our parents chose the traditional Chinese pastries from "Tai Chung Kok" in Chinatown.  not a bad idea if you want something away from the usual sponge/butter cakes  

* the "kwa" and the roast pig issue!

for Cantonese only!!  we got the kwa from this shop at IMM called HK Broadway.  cost about $280 for use on the photo shoot day and the actual day.  not bad as they are not very strict about the dates you take and return the thing (as long as it is within a reasonable time period) and they have quite a wide range to choose from

 

oh, and the pig..... uncles and aunties say that it's NECESSARY.  PERIOD.  NO ISSUE.  and a pig with ears pls.  apparently it's supposed to represent the girl's chastity??  wow....  we got it from this shop at Kg Ubi although we couldn't imagine what  we were going to do with a WHOLE roast pig!!????  if you're wondering, it was chopped up and distributed among SY's relatives (was used to make chok.... tastes pretty good!)

 

* a photographer for the actual day and night

SY's room-mate Lisa recommended Thomas Lim (Pgr: 93036945) but he had reservist training.  (too bad, cos we heard that he's really experienced!)  he then recommended Dennis Thong (Pgr: 92143064) who's a photographer with SPH.  not too bad either lah.... 

think it's good to give them a cap on the number of rolls of film to use and also, the number of shots for each table at the dinner.  we had two shots for each table and later felt that it wasn't really necessary

 

* catering for the relatives at our parents' homes

our choice was Kriston (at Chimes) - very good laksa and mee siam!

 

* a printer for the invites

we printed our invites at Jasvy,  cos they had a history with Inter-Con and so wouldn't have to do up the lay-out from scratch.  heard that T-Dragon is not too bad either...... but think most of them have a tendency to assume things, so make sure that they know exactly what you want, including stuff like wordings and fonts

another thing we learnt was to check with our guests if they could come before sending out the invites.  helps to cut down on quite a lot of unnecessary "card wastage", especially since the number of cards given by the hotel is usually limited

 

* the honeymoon arrangements

we were handed our air tickets only on the very day of our departure!  not a good experience..... don't be like us!  plan early and get all your stuff ready before your big day

 

* ang-pows for all the helpers

and also for the younger members of the family, when they serve you tea at the tea ceremony  

* music for the evening (including the march-in pieces)

we used "The Feather Theme" from Forrest Gump and "When you believe" Soundtrack from Prince of Egypt for the march-ins, and played movie themes during the dinner.  except for the more familiar ones like Star Wars and Superman, most of the others generally went unnoticed..... guess people won't really notice very much as long as it's not something too jarring!

other "wedding-y" music we loved:

- Canon in D major - Johann Pachelbel

- The Arrival of Queen of Sheba - George F. Handel

- Trumpet Voluntary - Henry Purcell

- Jesu, joy of man's desiring - J. S. Bach

- For a Lifetime - Jonathan Cain

- At the Beginning - Richard Marx & Donna Lewis (Theme from Anastasia)

- Love Theme from St Elmo's Fire - David Foster

 

* liquor/wine for the guests

we were advised not to start serving the beer and liquor during the reception, reason being that guests will generally leave the unfinished stuff outside and ask for a new one when they're at the table.  high wastage..... okay, point noted.   

another thing to note was to task the co-ordinator to decide whether a new barrel of beer should be opened if the first one were to finish during the dinner.  eh, Kwat Yeow/Eugene, time to do some work!  

try also to get the wine on consignment, so that you only pay for what is used

 

* JK's speech during the dinner (and was SY going to speak too?)

NOPE.

The other big headache we had was the sitting arrangements...... No matter how much planning you've done, there'll always be last minute changes to the guest list, and hence, the sitting arrangements!  We were still changing the plans two hours before the dinner.  

Guess it's something that can't be avoided, given the large number of people involved.  It's wise to just let go after a while, and "play by ear"...... Since it's never going to perfect (and you probably won't have time to even notice - we didn't!), there's not much point fussing over it.  One good thing to do though, leave it all to the co-ordinator and helpers!!  It's finally THE BIG DAY!  It's time to just relax and look good.... (or in our case, try to look good.......  :-)

good luck and have fun!

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yeng@pacific.net.sg or junkian@singnet.com.sg